To put this bluntly: Relationships are not always easy. More specifically, relationships while you’re in high school can be difficult stuff. These years in our lives are some of the most confusing times, and adding a significant other to the mix can make it all the more frazzling.
Sometimes, we are so eager to get into a relationship that we don’t bother finding ourselves beforehand, and this can result in several issues. It is important to know that your own health and well-being should be put before any type of relationship: understanding your self-worth and recognizing that you should be with someone who treats you the way you should be treated. I’m not talking about someone spoiling you with gifts or showing you off to social media. I’m talking about someone who makes sure you’re okay, a person who will motivate you and inspire you, and someone who is up-lifting. I feel these things are lost somewhere along the line when you don’t take the time to understand yourself first. For instance, you may allow a partner to treat you like less than you really are because you have yet to discover your meaningfulness and importance. This is potentially problematic because it could follow you into adulthood. The lack of understanding your own self-worth can result in a partner mentally abusing you, or even physically abusing you. Having little or low self-esteem or self-worth NEVER justifies abuse.
Unfortunately, sometimes it happens. One must know that this is NEVER an okay situation. Personally speaking, I have been in relationships before that have not gone well because I didn’t think I deserved anything better. This ended in me getting my heart broken and having trust issues. I was treated like an object essentially, and looking back on that now I know that those relationships were a mistake. In order for you to gain the knowledge you need about yourself before entering a relationship, you must focus on your happiness.
If you have issues assessing recognizing your self worth, maybe try some healthy motivation habits:
- Remind yourself of how great it can be to feel good about yourself by focusing on things you really enjoy. Have a list of feel good activities to look out when you’re feeling down (ex: listen to music, go for a run, draw, talk to my BFF, get outside, etc.)
- Take a break during the day to appreciate yourself, nothing extravagant or anything but you have the right to be proud of yourself. I mean, you’re alive, you have faced every difficult battle in your life up until this very moment, and you continue to do so everyday.
- Surround yourself with people that make you feel good. Time to cut toxic friends/relationships out!
- Remember to do what’s best for you, never settle, and ULTIMATELY respect yourself. A key aspect in all relationships should be respect.
So realize these things: YOU are important, YOU have meaning, and YOU deserve love that is nontoxic and brings to you all the happiness you deserve. I send you all my love.